It’s approaching dawn. The night is silent as usual. Silent means normal. A parameter that ensures that everything has gone as per the plan.
The deep night has engulfed everyone in its clutches of sleep. But it’s not only me who is awake at this hour.
I stand at my flat’s terrace, trying to locate the Moon. But I cannot see it. There are too many clouds. I can say for certain where exactly it’s hiding. I can see the source of the light. A blurred dull ball appears in the sky, momentarily visible behind a thin puff of clouds.
I can see the moonlight falling on the Mango tree’s leaves. Mango tree which is slowly extending its arms, trying to capture our entire terrace, leaving us with a little space. But still, we will bear with it. For it will bear fruits for us. Literally.
Just next to the tree lie a bunch of bats, continously shifting in their sleep, trying to find the perfect posture. Perfect hanging posture. They all have snuggled up in such a mess that I couldn’t possibly do a head count right now.
I look down at the road downstairs. It is completely deserted. Only exception being a Goods Carrier making a run along the path, every now and then. A truck passes by, making a loud sound. Loud enough to scare a bat out of its sleep and into the sky. It flutters away as quietly as it could.
The clouds appear to have scattered for a short time. I can see the Moon now. It looks to be just a day away from being exactly half, like the protractor. It looks tired. It looks dull. I wonder why.
Another truck just passed by. It didn’t wake any bat up, this time around. The Moon has also made its way back behind the veil. The Mango tree stand there tall, apathetic to everything that’s going around him.
The dawn is approaching. The night is silent as usual. And it’s not only me who is feeling sleepy right now. So are the bats, the trucks and the Moon.
I was blinded by a light.
Too blinded to see the darkness that it was building in the hindsight.
My sub-conscious begged me to take cognizance of the same.
But I was too blinded by the light.
With time I started noticing the shadows the light had created all around me.
It was not until it started feeding off me.
It was not until I realized the light was artificial.
Fueled by the perception of false shine I had.
I knew I had to make a choice. To move towards truth, which was tough, or to be stuck in the false realm, which was comforting.
Then there came a few torch bearers.
A few good men who took the initiative to reach out to me.
They did not lead me out of the reach of the light. But they did show me the path.
For years now I have had conflict of thoughts.
A part of me still favored the light. It thought the light was innocent.
I felt weak many a times and succumbed to the false reality.
I gave in to the light.
Then I saw many others who were blinded by the light.
My guardian angels helped me see that.
For a long time I kept searching for the answers.
There came none.
I had never resisted the light for such a long time as I had done then.
I had to bred hatred towards the light in order to escape it.
I distant myself from it but the shine still occupied my mind.
I knew I had to completely kill that shine before it took control of me again.
I found a new light.
A light I can directly look into without being blinded.
A light that hid no lies.
A light that helped me discover myself.
A light that made me question everything, for my own good.
I came out a new person.
I no longer longed for the light, for the shine.
I moved forward with a confidence that was long lost.
I moved forward with my torch bearers. A few good men that never left my side.
I look at the idol of Lord Shiva and smile.
For I have discovered the truth. My truth.
And it is beautiful.
“Like most misery, it started with apparent happiness.”
― Markus Zusak, The Book Thief
I will be waking up tomorrow not looking forward for a GoT episode. There will be rains though. Nothing else to look forward to. The morning will come and #mondaymotivation and #mondayblues will start trending next to each other. My excitement quota on Monday morning has been rather limited of late. There has been spikes but the overall mood tend to be rather gloomy.
Death. Is it a Friend? Is it an Enemy? Or is it neither? I recently read a book narrated by Death. The Book Thief. Death’s general tone, here, is more of a storytelling rather than a thriller. There is not a lot of anxiousness and excitement as you move forward. Yet I was glued to it till the very end.
A crazy night with friends. And a hungover morning.
A beautiful overcast day. And a rainy night full of memories.
A timeline full of feeds. And a boring evening.
A mind full of ideas. And an unfinished book.
A look in the mirror. And a face stamped into the subconscious.
A clear logical thought. And a blind devotion.
A life full of surprises. And a few planned detours.
A mug full of my favorite beer. And another one 🙂
It’s raining continuously since past two days. And I am sneezing like anything.
There is a new smell in the air. Everything around me has sprung into life. Monsoons have finally struck Mumbai. And the best part of the year is finally here.
I have to remind myself again that it’s Sunday evening, and not Saturday. I have a huge to do list for today (There are only two tasks but anything more than one is “huge” in my dictionary). But I have got some time left in the day to get done with that. No worries !!
Just 3 weeks to my Ladakh trip. We were 13 when we started planning for the trip. Now only 6 are left (Side-effects of being a part of age group where everyone is getting married). That reminds me that I have to get some bookings done. My to-do list climbs by 1 :/
The rains have picked up once again. I wish there was a concept of “Rainy Day” in professional life also. Mumbai would have been the perfect city to work in. It still is 😀
Need to rush. Have to finish some office work. And then organize my room. And then spend some time with my favorite beverage 😉 And then retire to sleep before waking up to the Season Finale of GoT 😀